Your thoughts or feedback would be appreciated.
This is a Pre-Print copy of
How to be Happy on Planet Earth.
(Version 5.3)
My first Editor (Version 1.0) described How to be Happy on Planet Earth as “the heaviest little lite book he had ever read”. Version 1.0 did include a bibliography.
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It will take about half an hour to read How to be Happy on Planet Earth.
If you find anything you disagree with or find anything annoying – even if it is just one or two sentences in a particular chapter – please let me know.
And if you find anything ambiguous also please let me know.
Please email any comments or suggestions to book@guiding.com.au
Please Note – The spelling is UK English rather than US English
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Author’s Prologue
If you want more real friends – people who like and help you – use the Guiding Principles.
Around half of How to be Happy on Planet Earth is how to deal with other people and the other half is how to deal with yourself.
The research criteria for the Guiding Principles in How to be Happy on Planet Earth is where the Ancient Wisdom from 2,000 years ago agrees with Modern Research into health and human behaviour.
After finishing this research, I “Personally thought” some of the Guiding Principles were irrelevant – and some I thought I was smart enough to get around.
25 years later I now admit I was wrong on both accounts.
How to be Happy on Planet Earth will also show what the big four religions all have in common. I mention this as it may explain why research nearly always shows that religious people are happier than not religious people. Regardless of their religion.
I will also mention that research consistently shows that if someone followed the Guiding Principle on “diet” or the Guiding Principle on “exercise”, they would achieve a better result for mild depression than any drug currently on the market.
And if you start combining all the Guiding Principles together you will understand why this book has a legitimate claim to be called How to be Happy on Planet Earth.
As it is over 25 years since I completed the research and finished the first draft of How to be Happy on Panet Earth, I would like to mention the following two points
- Over the last 25 years there has been so much research showing that each Guiding Principle will help you to be happy. And most of the research explains, the “How’s and the Why’s” – which is not covered in How to be Happy on Planet Earth. There is a personal reason I wanted to keep this a little book. So it is quick to re-read when I am not as happy as I want to be.
- Personal experience over the last 25 years has shown that when I didn’t follow a Guiding Principle – it always came back to bite me on the butt – and make me unhappy. Sometimes it took years, and sometimes it came back to bite me in a way I had not expected. Especially when I thought I had been smart enough to get away with it.
I do have to admit there have been times when I thought I should call this book How to Avoid Being Made Unhappy.
With this copy of How to be Happy on Planet Earth, which is version 5.3, I have tried to share some of my own experiences when explaining each of the Guiding Principles.
If everyone read How to be Happy on Planet Earth, the world really would be a nicer place. However, if you are the only person to read How to be Happy on Planet Earth the world will have at least one happier person.
So read on if you want to be happy on Planet Earth.
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If You See Everything as Black and White
– Try Using Some Grey Matter
This is one of the most important Guiding Principles to master if you want to be happy.
Not only will this Guiding Principle help you to get along with other people, but it will also help you to pick yourself up when things go wrong.
The following question and answer will help you start to understand this Guiding Principle.
The Question: How long is five minutes?
And the Answer: It depends on which side of the toilet door you are on!
I rarely talk about this, but this Guiding Principle really helped my mental health after a car accident.
Before I used this Guiding Principle, I was really blaming myself for running someone over.
However, when I used this Guiding Principle, I began to realise that if he had not illegally run across the road, he would NOT have been in front of my car.
While using this Guiding Principle did not change the outcome, it certainly helped my mental health more than you can probably imagine.
Another way to help explain this Guiding Principle is, imagine two people facing each other and you held a book in between them. One person can see the front cover (let’s say ABC) and the other person can see the back cover (let’s say RST).
Now imagine you are one of those people.
You look at the book and see ABC as clearly as you can see black and white, yet the other person keeps insisting the book says RST.
Unless you “use some grey matter” which is a slang expression for thinking or in this case – looking at it from another person’s point of view – it would be very easy to jump to the conclusion that the other person is either stupid or lying.
Unless one, or both parties, stop seeing everything as black and white and start using some grey matter, it is very easy to get stuck in a vicious cycle or loop of ‘It’s ABC!’ “No, it’s RST!” ‘IT IS ABC’ “NO, IT IS RST”.
This Guiding Principle is very important when dealing with other people and their opinions or points of view.
Whenever there is a dispute or disagreement always use this Guiding Principle and look at both sides to see what you have in common, rather than your differences.
People who see everything as Black and White think that making everyone agree with them will make them happy. However, if they used some Grey Matter they would see this is rarely the case. Feeling superior or dominant is different to being happy.
This Guiding Principle is also very helpful whenever something bad happens in your life. It will help you decide whether you are a victim or whether you are responsible.
When you are a victim, everything is outside your control, and it is hard to move on and be happy. Having someone or something to blame for your unhappiness will give you a reason why you are unhappy, but it will make it hard for you to be happy.
You will find it easier to be happy if you can be responsible for what did or did not happen.
But please realise – when you make yourself responsible for something, it is completely different to blaming yourself.
When you make yourself responsible for something, it does NOT mean blaming yourself or beating yourself up with regrets for the rest of your life.
It actually has the opposite effect.
If you can learn from your mistakes or learn a lesson on something to never do again, it will give you the inner strength and freedom to move on and allow you to be happy.
So, to be happy, if you see everything as black and white – try using some grey matter.
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Be Kind and Helpful to Everyone
– Just Because You Can
All the major religions have a Principle like this as a cornerstone of their religion. Quite often this includes helping the sick, the poor and volunteering for charities.
I personally believe it is because of this Principle, that research usually shows that religious people, irrespective of their religion, are happier than non-religious people.
If you break it down there appears to be two reasons, as to why this Principle helps you to be happy.
Firstly, and from the logical perspective, the more you help people the more likely they are to help you when you need help.
It is always easier to be happy when people help you when you need some help or cheer you up when you need some cheering up.
This may be as simple as always being kind, helpful and polite to the person who serves you coffee each morning and then one morning when you are having a bad day and everything is going Grrrrrr, they just give you a big smile or says something to cheer you up.
As you have probably noticed from people in your own life, the people who are kind to everyone and help everyone, are the people everyone rally around to help when they have a crisis or an hour of need.
Somehow people seem to know whether you are being kind and helpful just because you can or because you want something.
The second part of why this Guiding Principle helps you to be happy is when you do help someone – just because you can – instead of it being a burden or obligation, it leaves you feeling happy or good on the inside.
This may be doing something as simple as asking a Mother if she needs a hand getting a pram up some stairs, helping an elderly person to cross the road safely or volunteering at a soup kitchen for the poor.
For the record, there is a bit of a contradiction with this Guiding Principle. If you are kind and helpful to everyone expecting it to make you happy, you may be disappointed and end up feeling like a door mat.
However, if you are kind and helpful to everyone – just because you can – it will make you happy.
So, to be happy, be kind and helpful to everyone – just because you can!
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Never Assume What Another Person is Thinking
Building on the previous two Guiding Principles, if you want to be happy you can never assume what another person is thinking.
Instead of assuming, just ask.
This Guiding Principle is just as relevant to someone you have just met, as it is to someone you have known your whole life.
In a way, the longer you have known someone, the more you need to use this Guiding Principle.
To help explain this Guiding Principle I will share a story where someone assumed what I was thinking.
A friend of mine thought I was annoyed or angry with her because not only did I walk past her in the park without saying hello, but apparently, I had some sort of snarly look on my face.
I do remember the day because she was walking with a man wearing a cowboy hat and you do not see many people wearing cowboy hats in Sydney, Australia.
From my perspective I was just going for my morning walk. I had the morning sun right in my eyes and I could hardly see. Every couple of minutes I would squint my eyes, look up to make sure I wasn’t going to crash into anyone and then I would look down.
All I saw was the silhouette of someone wearing a cowboy hat walking with someone beside them, but I could not see who it was.
The point of this story is, she assumed what I was thinking, and she assumed I was annoyed with her, whereas I was just blinded by the sunlight and just did not see her.
Although this next piece of advice may sound counter intuitive, the longer you have known someone, the more you need to use this Guiding Principle if you want to be happy.
As you have probably noticed from your own life, your favourite music, food, fashion and possibly even political views or favourite sporting team may have changed over time.
For a long-term relationship to be successful you need to remember this Guiding Principle.
That way as the changes occur, you will become aware of them as they happen, rather than one day realising the person you have known for 20 years is now someone you do not really know.
Another thing that can happen if you do not follow this Guiding Principle is people may think you are taking them for granted.
This can be as simple as not asking someone to do something, because they had said no in the past.
Or ordering something for someone, because they ordered that in the past.
While you may think doing one of the above, shows how well you know them, they may become annoyed that you are not expecting them to change or grow as a person.
If you offend a long-term friend or partner, it will make it harder for you to be happy.
And lastly, one of the most important times to use this Guiding Principle is when you think someone is being spiteful. The number of times I have seen people “Jump to the conclusion” that something was done out of spite, when quite often it was just an accident or ignorance.
So, regardless of whether you have just met someone or you have known them your entire life, to be happy never assume what another person is thinking.
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If You are Unhappy with a Situation
– Change the Situation or Change Your Attitude
This Guiding Principle is important for being happy with yourself, your environment and the world around you.
With this Guiding Principle it is important to realise that if you are unhappy with a situation and if you cannot change the situation, just accept it and your attitude will change without needing to do anything. This will make it easier to be happy.
It is also the case that if you are not happy with a situation and you cannot accept it, you will have the drive and enthusiasm to change the situation.
Accepting your situation is not the same as admitting defeat or giving up.
In fact, accepting your situation has nothing to do with right or wrong or good and bad.
Accepting your situation, is just that, accepting your situation.
To help explain both sides of this Guiding Principle I will talk about my toothbrush business.
Back in the 1990’s I designed a range of toothbrushes. My toothbrushes had an ergonomic design that make them easy to use, and they also had all 10 features that Australians wanted in a toothbrush.
Just after I launched my toothbrushes, a competitor was able to stop the production of my brushes.
To start with I was devastated. I had spent over 10 years of hard work and spent all the money I had ever saved.
To say I was unhappy would be an understatement. I was full of hate and rage.
Although I never admitted defeat, when I eventually accepted the situation – that without a supply of toothbrushes I no longer had a toothbrush business – my attitude suddenly changed.
It was like a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
One of the first things I did was to start researching How to be Happy on Planet Earth and even wrote the first draft. I then went on to become a Natural Therapist.
However, in the early 2000’s research started showing how gum disease caused a variety of health problems such as heart attacks, strokes, Alzheimer’s Disease, arthritis and possibly even grey hair and wrinkles.
When I looked at the designs of the “New” (early 21st century) toothbrushes, I realised the – negative long term impacts – these “new” toothbrush designs were going to have on gums and therefore everyone’s health and wellbeing.
This then became a situation I could not accept.
So, I improved the design of my toothbrushes to make them even better for cleaning gums. I then bought a machine to make toothbrushes and started a new toothbrush business.
Does everyone on Planet Earth use one of my toothbrushes? No.
Will everyone on Planet Earth end up using one of my toothbrushes? I do not know.
But, having people die 20 to 30 years younger than they had to, due health issues caused by poor toothbrush designs – designed by marketing people rather than toothbrush designers – is a situation I cannot accept.
This gives me the drive and energy to pick myself up, learn from my mistakes, and have another go.
Another time this Guiding Principle is really important is when a relationship seems to be ending.
From my perspective, my longest and probably best relationship ended three times. The first two times I did NOT accept the situation and we got back together.
The third time – I accepted the situation – and to help change my attitude I told myself things like, “third time lucky” and “it’s probably for the best”.
It is important to remember that changing a situation may take some time and effort. But if you use the Guiding Principles, it will be a happy and enjoyable adventure.
However sometimes to be happy you do have to accept things and just let your attitude change.
So, to be happy, if you are unhappy with a situation – change the situation or change your attitude.
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Praise and Criticise the Behaviour
– not the Person
To be happy you want everyone to help you. This Guiding Principle is how you train people to help you.
And by always using this Guiding Principle if someone makes a mistake or has an accident, they will have the confidence to let you know as soon as possible.
This is important for your happiness because if the No. 2 is going to hit the fan, the sooner you know, the happier you will be as you may be able to correct the situation before it becomes an unhappy problem.
To help explain this Guiding Principle, I will use two examples.
If someone did something wrong and you said “You stupid ignorant person, you are totally useless” that would be an example of criticising the person.
Whereas an example of criticising the behaviour, would be if in the same situation you said, “If you had done ABC instead of RST we would not have this problem”.
As you can start to see, when you criticise the person, the person may not actually know what they did wrong or how they can avoid it happening again.
However, when you criticise the behaviour, the person learns what they did wrong and how they can avoid it happening again.
The people around you will be happier, if they know that if they ask for your advice, you may give some constructive criticism, but you will not leave them feeling stupid or unloved.
You will be a lot happier, if the people in your life know they can ask for your advice before they make a mistake and they know you will not leave them feeling belittled or stupid.
By always using this Guiding Principle, people will let you know as soon as a mistake or accident happens, rather than trying to hide it from you.
As mistakes and accidents happen, the sooner you know about it, the easier it is for you to be happy as you will have more time to rectify the mistake.
And it is the same for when someone does something good or does a good job.
Always praise the behaviour and not the person.
Imagine you have a child and they do something helpful like washing the dishes without being asked.
An example of praising the person would be if you said “You are the perfect child and I am blessed to have you.”
In a situation like this, the child is never quite sure if they are the “perfect child” just because they happen to be the right height and have the right coloured hair.
Whereas an example of praising the behaviour would be if you said “thank you for washing the dishes, it saved me so much time, thank you again.
As you can see, praising the behaviour lets the person know exactly what they did right and if they are left feeling good about themselves, they may just repeat that behaviour again.
So, to be happy, always remember to praise and criticise the behaviour – not the person.
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Forgive but do not Forget
So far everything we have looked at is how to be happy by your own actions.
If everyone lived by the Guiding Principles this Guiding Principle may not be necessary.
The reason you need to forgive someone, or even forgive yourself, is purely for your own happiness.
If you do not forgive someone for something you will be walking around with a head full of “Grrrrrr I hate them, Grrrrrr I hate them” sort of thoughts.
It is hard to be happy when your brain is full of Grrrrrr thoughts.
The reason we do not forget is to ensure the same thing does not happen again.
Imagine you put your hand into a lion’s cage to pat the lion and the lion bites your arm off.
You need to forgive the lion, as that is what lions do.
Lions eat people.
Walking around for the rest of your life hating the lion is not going to make you happy nor it will not it bring your arm back. And the lion probably does not know or care that you are upset.
However, the reason we say, “do not forget”, is so you do not put your other hand in the cage to pat the lion.
I think the best definition I have ever heard of forgiving someone is that you can never use that incident to beat them up ever again.
You will find this lets the Grrrrrr thoughts go so you can get on with your life and be happy.
An example of where you need to forgive but not forget is if you lend someone money and they cannot, or will not, pay you back
You need to forgive them so you can be happy.
You do not forget so if the same person asks to borrow money from you again you can weigh it up and go well, they did not pay me back last time, is anything different now? Should I lend this person money again? Well maybe not.
If you ever have trouble forgiving someone of something, have a look at whether it may be yourself you really need to forgive.
Going back to the lion in the cage, if you had trouble forgiving the lion for biting your arm off, have a look whether it is yourself, you need to forgive.
You may actually regret putting your arm in the cage, to pat the lion to start with.
Forgiving yourself for something is the same as forgiving someone else.
When you forgive yourself of something, you tell yourself I can no longer use this incident to beat myself up ever again”.
This lets the Grrrrrr thoughts go and lets you get on with your life without carrying any regrets or excess baggage.
When you forgive someone of something, as time goes by you may find you forget that you have forgiven them.
You will know when this happens because you start going Grrrrrr and remembering what they did.
If this happens you need to remind yourself that you have forgiven them and tell yourself, “I can no longer use this incident to beat them up ever again”.
This let the Grrrrrr thoughts go.
In my own experience of forgiving myself, there have been several occasions where I have forgotten that I have forgiven myself.
I had to keep reminding myself “I can no longer use this incident to beat myself up ever again” before it finally sank in and the Grrrrrr thoughts went away, and I could get back to being happy again.
So to be happy you need to forgive so you can get on with your life and be happy.
But we do not forget so you can avoid the same situation ever happening again.
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Never be Spiteful
When I look back over the last 25 years, not following this Guiding Principle has probably caused me more unhappiness than anything else.
The Webster dictionary defined spiteful as: ill will, to try to injure or thwart, to annoy.
Being spiteful will cause people to dislike you. And being spiteful is the easiest way to create enemies.
It is hard enough to be happy without people going out of their way to make you unhappy.
If you look back over your own life and look at the times when someone has been spiteful to you, you will probably notice that at best, you just did not go out of your way to help them because you did not like them.
At worst you may have gone out of your way and done something to make them as unhappy as you could.
Hopefully you are starting to see that being spiteful is one of the easiest ways to have people not help you and to have people go out of their way to make you unhappy.
If you are spiteful to someone today, you may not get the full negative impact on your happiness until possibly months or even years later.
You may have forgotten all about it – but they have not.
To be happy you need to realise that spite, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
My own experience has shown me that even when I was not trying to be spiteful – an important bit of this Guiding Principle – is whether the other person thought I was being spiteful.
When you make a joke about someone, the person on the receiving end may be offended or hurt and think you are being spiteful.
Another time people might find it hard not to be spiteful is when a relationship seems to be coming to an end.
When you are hurting and seem to be under attack, it is so easy to fight back and say or do something spiteful.
My longest and probably best relationship ended because I was spiteful. Admittedly, the argument we were having was because I did not follow a Guiding Principle we are about to cover, but it was me being spiteful that actually ended the relationship.
While being spiteful to try and win an argument felt good at the time, I had to use nearly all the Guiding Principles to be happy again. Those few moments of feeling superior and a winner, after being spiteful, was not worth the negative impact it ended up having on my happiness.
In circumstances like this, I sometimes think, doing nothing and not reacting is possibly the best way to avoid being spiteful.
Another way to avoid being spiteful is to always be polite and show respect.
It is important to remember there is no Golden Rule for being polite.
What could be good manners in New York may not be good manners in the Middle East, Korea or even New Orleans.
And if travelling in a country where you do not speak the language, if you can show enough respect to learn the local words for “excuse me” and “thank you”, you will usually find people will be happy to help.
It is easier to be happy if everyone is on your side and trying to help you.
So to be happy never be spiteful!
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Always tell the Truth
To be happy, never lie.
Apart from being morally wrong, lying will always reduce your happiness.
To be happy, you do not want tell even little lies.
This even includes over exaggerating a complement.
If you are wondering how an exaggerated compliment could reduce your happiness, I will share a story about my mother and father.
Before they were married, and in fact, the first time my Mum ever cooked dinner for my Dad, Dad gave an exaggerated compliment about how good dinner was. He may even have said it was “the best dinner he had ever had”.
Because Dad made such a fuss about how good dinner was, every time he had a birthday, Mum cooked him the same dinner.
After about 15 years, Dad asked Mum why she always cooked the same thing for his birthday and if this year could she please cook something that he liked.
To start with, Mum was angry that she had spent time and effort cooking something he did not like all because of a lie.
And Dad, apart from having an unhappy wife, started to realise he had spent the last 15 or so birthdays eating food he did not like. All because of an exaggerated complement he made before he was married.
This does not mean you cannot give a complement.
However, you need to realise that when you give someone a compliment, that person will probably repeat the same behaviour again because you have trained them to do so.
If you are starting to realize there are some areas in your life, where you may have trained people to do something you do not like, if you want to be happy, you need to tell the truth.
But remember, you were the person who lied, and they have spent time and energy doing something because of your lie.
One of the best ways to get out of a situation like this is to suggest a new behaviour, dinner or whatever it is.
If you like this better, tell the truth and say something like “This is really good, we should do this more often”.
You can never have a relaxed and happy life if you need to spend even part of your life trying to remember which lie you have told to which person.
The other thing you need to remember about lies is they are always found out.
And the longer it takes to be found out, the unhappier you will be.
It is hard to be happy when people start questioning whether anything you have told them is true.
Another time you need to tell the truth is when you make a mistake or do something wrong.
Some people avoid telling the truth and try to hide a mistake because they are scared, they will be criticised or yelled at.
Mistakes, like lies, are always found out eventually.
If you admit you made a mistake, especially if you have learnt from your mistake and can explain why the same mistake will not happen again, the less likely you are to be criticised or belittled as a person.
The sooner you communicate about a mistake the happier you and the people effected by the mistake will be.
And lastly, one of the most important times to always tell the truth, is when somebody helps you.
If someone really does help you, you need to tell the truth and say thank you.
Not only is it polite, but by telling the truth and letting them know how much you appreciate their effort, they are left feeling happy and may even help you again in the future.
For so many reasons it is hard to be happy if you are living a lie.
So to be happy, always tell the truth.
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Communication is a Two-Way Flow of Information
To be happy we need to communicate successfully.
This Guiding Principle may not be so important when someone simply says, “Please pass the salt”. However, this Guiding Principle is very important when communicating anything that is important to your happiness.
To be happy, you need to be responsible that all communications are successful.
And this is regardless of whether you are giving or receiving the communication.
The first thing to realise to have a communication be successful, is if a person makes a request of you, they have an expectation of what they want or expect to happen.
And this is regardless of what is “actually said”!
As an example, if someone asked you to paint their wall blue and left the communication at that, you and they may not be happy with the end result.
As you probably know there is light blue, dark blue, and many shades of blue in between. The person who asked you to paint their wall blue most likely had an expectation of the shade of blue they wanted – regardless of what they said.
The best way to have a communication be successful is to realise that communication is a two-way flow of information.
An example of a two-way flow of information would be if someone asked you to paint their wall blue and you asked, “Do you have a particular shade of blue that you want?”
The result of this discussion, or two-way flow of information, may mean you do not paint the wall. Maybe you cannot supply the shade of blue that they want and they cannot accept the shade of blue you can provide.
The important thing about this Guiding Principle is you will be happier, if you spend the time to ensure the communication was successful before you paint the wall.
If you feel a bit silly or embarrassed asking a question or two to clarify a meaning or expectation, please realise you will be much happier if you spend some time having a two-way flow of information, rather than doing something wrong or needing to redo something.
The same is true whenever you communicate anything that is important to your happiness.
You will be much happier if you ensure it was a successful communication by using a two-way flow of information.
This may mean asking someone to explain what you meant and may require you to take the time to re-explain it to them again and possibly using different words and maybe using a drawing or picture.
It is easier to be happy if there are fewer mistakes and misunderstandings.
You may have to use all the Guiding Principles covered so far to use this Guiding Principle successfully and tactfully, but to be happy, you need to be responsible that all communications are successful and the easiest way to have this happen is through a two-way flow of information.
One time in my life when I wished I had used this Guiding Principle was after my Partner said she wanted to “Shop around to see if she could find someone better”.
To be fair she did say I should do the same.
Even though we did get back together, I wish I had taken the time to use a two-way flow of information to find out what “shopping around” actually meant.
It turned out we both had different ideas on what “shopping around” meant and I have to take full responsibility for the impact this had on our relationship, as I did not use this Guiding Principle.
So to be happy, always remember, communication is a two-way flow of information.
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Eat Six Cupsful of Fruit and Vegetables
– Five to Seven Days a Week
When I follow this Guiding Principle, the next day virtually no one or anything can make me unhappy.
That is how important this Guiding Principle is.
But for the record, if I only had wheat flour to live on, I would live on wheat flour.
But, at every opportunity possible, I would try to incorporate this Guiding Principle into my life.
As you have probably noticed, cups like people, come in all different sizes.
So for this Guiding Principle please imagine a cup about the size of your clenched fist.
And for this Guiding Principle we are going to use the Botanical definition of what is a fruit and what is a vegetable. This means tomatoes, squash, nuts and seeds are all considered fruits.
When it comes to choosing which fruit and vegetables to eat, always try and have as many different coloured fruit and vegetables as you can.
Each different colour means they have different vitamins and nutrients and this way, you will get all the vitamins and nutrients that you need to be happy and healthy.
Where possible, try to eat organically grown fruit and vegetables, as apart from having no man-made chemicals such as herbicides and pesticides on them, organically grown also means the plants had to fight off the bugs and pests using their own immune system. As the plant’s immune system becomes stronger, the plant produces more antioxidants and the more antioxidants we can get from fruit and vegetables the better for our health and happiness.
And if you are wondering if you should eat your fruit and vegetables cooked or raw, that is just too big a question for a little book like this one.
To help explain that I will talk about the humble carrot.
If you are eating a carrot for Vitamin C, eating it raw would be best as heat will destroy Vitamin C.
However, if you want Vitamin A, eating a cooked a carrot is best.
To eat this much fruit and vegetables some people may need to eat less cereal starch.
Cereal starch is in products like bread, pasta and rice.
And I should mention that cereal grains such as wheat, rice and maize are neither a fruit nor a vegetable, as cereals plants are all part of the grass family.
If you do want to eat meat, I will make the following two points.
- If you follow this Guiding Principle, you may not need to eat much meat and you do not need to eat meat every day.
- And please note – I say the following for health not religious reasons. If you are going to eat meat, eating animals that are considered Kosher or Halal could be a really good idea for health reasons.
We might just have a quick look at when to eat.
Most people do not realise Western countries have only been eating breakfast for the last 100 years. Breakfast as we know it was originally promoted by a bacon manufacturer to increase bacon sales.
Breakfast is NOT the most important meal of the day, especially if you want to avoid all the so-called western diseases.
Traditionally breakfast has always been last night’s leftovers or nothing at all.
My own observations of people who do not eat breakfast is they do NOT have as many wrinkles on their face and the people who only eat once a day, usually look about 20 years younger than their age. They also seem to have less age-related problems like arthritis.
And if you are NOT on medication – to really have your body work the way God or Evolution designed it to, try and avoid eating for one or two days a week. This will give your body a chance to go into recycle and repair mode. This will work wonders, on improving everything from eyesight to memory.
And lastly, I will mention that if you want to live a long happy and healthy life you need to have healthy gums. Most people loose teeth due to poor gum health – than any other reason. You will find it hard to be happy if your teeth start falling out. Especially as you will probably loose 4 to 6 teeth at the same time.
The two best ways to achieve better gum health is to either eat an apple a day (and this probably means eating it raw and with the skin on) or, brush your gums and teeth every day with a toothbrush designed to the old Australian Standard for Toothbrushes (AS1032).
Guiding is probably the last brand making these toothbrushes and even they are hard to come by.
In the 2020’s many people have changed to electric toothbrushes due to the ineffectiveness of early 21st century toothbrushes.
I mention this as electric toothbrushes are designed to clean teeth but NOT gums.
So to be happy follow this Guiding Principle as much as possible.
It is easier to be happy if you eat six cupsful of fruit and vegetables – five to seven days a week.
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Have a 30-Minute Walk, Every Day
If you have an injury, illness or disability and cannot walk, I suggest you do 30 minutes, of whatever exercise you can, every day.
However the important key is, it must be adrenalin free exercise, and without puffing. No puffing.
To maximise your chance to be happy, go for a 30-minute walk, every day. And as I said before, the important thing is, it must be adrenalin free, and without puffing. Think an easy, no effort type of stroll.
If you already exercise and like to record your performance, to follow this Guiding Principle may require a paradigm shift.
About the only way you can measure your performance with this Guiding Principle is to look at your face in the mirror before you go for your walk, and then look at your face in the mirror after your walk.
After exercising most people will notice their face is red or flushed, their wrinkles and lines will be deeper and they usually look five to 10 years older.
With this Guiding Principle, after your walk you should look younger and more refreshed.
If you look older after your walk, do not worry, you have just gone too fast and just go a bit slower tomorrow.
Some people are surprised to learn that adrenaline makes it harder to be happy and that adrenaline has a negative impact on your immune system.
If you start to puff, you are going too fast. Simply slow down, or even stop, until you get your breath back. And then start again, but at a slower pace.
If you are really out of condition, just getting out of your chair, and walking to the front door, may be enough to make you start to puff. In a situation like this, stop, and when you get your breath back, walk back to your chair, and have a rest. Then in about 30 minutes, get up, walk to the front door and back again.
If you do this every 30 minutes, by the end of the day, you will have had, a 30-minute walk and if you do this every day, within two or three weeks, you will be happy to find that you can go for a gentle, 30-minute walk, without puffing.
Regardless of your present fitness, good or not so good, to be happy, you need to have, a 30 minute walk, every day.
This is as simple as walking for 15 minutes, and then turning around, and walking home.
And I will say it one last time, it has to be adrenalin free, and without puffing.
And when possible, always go for your walk outside in the sun.
Possibly the only good thing to come out of the Covid pandemic was all the new research into Vitamin D. We now know the best way to get Vitamin D is to have as much skin as possible, receiving sunlight.
The more skin you expose to the sun the less time you need in the sun to get your Vitamin D. Vitamin D is important for your mental health, your immune system and walking outside will even help your eyesight.
The reason you do not hear more about the benefits of walking, is because nobody makes any money out of it.
Research shows walking is one of the best things for your mental health, your heart, weight loss, insomnia, a lot of stomach or gut problems, and even your posture.
Regardless of whether you need to increase your fitness so you can go for a 30-minute walk, every day, or you have to slow down, as you go for a 30-minute walk, the old fashion 30 minute walk, every day, will do more to make you happy, and healthy, than you probably realise.
So to be happy have 30-minute walk, everyday
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Marriage and the Guiding Principles
It is hard to be happy if you have an unhappy marriage. The easiest way is to have a happy marriage, is to marry the right person to start with.
The best way to do this is to only marry someone – you like to make happy – and who likes to make you happy.
If only one partner likes to make the other partner happy, the marriage may not go so well in the long term.
If after reading How to be Happy on Planet Earth, you are beginning to realise that your marriage is not going so well, you will be happy to know, if you start using the Guiding Principles, you can turn it around.
You could change the situation by leaving your marriage, or you could accept, that you are in it for the long haul and just let your attitude change.
You would have to take on being kind and helpful. Not just because you want to save your marriage, but just because you can.
Using some Grey Matter instead of seeing everything as Black and White, would also certainly help.
And never assume what your partner is thinking, and never being spiteful, will go a long way to save any marriage.
You may have to do some forgiving, of either them or yourself, and if you make sure, you only criticise or praise their behaviour, and not them as a person, they will soon start to see the new you.
Also ensure that all communications are successful, and this is best done by having a two-way flow of information, rather than saying “Yes Dear” when all you really heard was “Blah, blah, blah”
Plus, you need to tell the truth. You may have inadvertently trained them to do something you do not like and you would most certainly have to tell the truth and thank them for all the good things they have done.
And lastly, the sooner you can start eating six cupsful of fruit and vegetables, five to seven days a week and go for a 30 minute walk every day, the better.
Once you start using the Guiding Principles, the other thing you could do is encourage your partner to read How to be Happy on Planet Earth.
If they do read How to be Happy on Planet Earth, and start using the Guiding Principles, the easier your life will be.
But and this is a big BUT. Even if they read How to be Happy on Planet Earth you can never assume they will use the Guiding Principles.
You being happy is your responsibility, not theirs. If you want to be happy and have a happy marriage you need to use the Guiding Principles.
To be happy you cannot say to your partner, “I will use the Guiding Principles if you do”.
And you can never use the Guiding Principles to criticize your partner.
By this I mean, you cannot say to your partner, “you’re seeing everything as Black and White try using some Grey Matter”, or “why don’t you try being kind and helpful to me”, or “why don’t you just change your attitude”. To say something like that, would be you, being spiteful.
And we now know that is not going to have a happy ending.
The Guiding Principles are for you to be happy. If everyone used the Guiding Principles, the world really would be a happier place.
However, for you to be happy and to have a happy marriage, you need to use the Guiding Principles, regardless of whether your partner does.
If you start using the Guiding Principles now, even if your marriage does end, you will still be happy.
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Beginning to Use the Guiding Principles
We have just covered so much information. Unless you are a lot smarter than me, I really suggest rereading this book a couple of times.
One of the reasons I kept this book short, is so I can quickly read it again when I realise I am not as happy as I would like to be.
My only suggestion, if you do decide to use the Guiding Principles, is think of it as a game. If I do this when dealing with problem people, it suddenly becomes quite enjoyable and even fun.
When I started researching How to be Happy on Planet Earth, my research criteria was where the intelligent people of today, agreed with the wise old people from 2,000 years ago.
Despite doing this research – I personally thought – several of the Guiding Principles were not relevant and some I thought I was smart enough to get around.
25 years later, I now know, I was wrong on both accounts.
I must say, the Guiding Principles on diet and exercise really help you to be happy. They give instant results in being happy now and they also have some long-time health benefits, that will make you happy in the years to come.
To follow the Guiding Principle on diet successfully, I had to start preparing my own food. It has turned out to be quicker, more enjoyable and a lot cheaper, than going out to eat or getting food delivered.
And these days, I can usually make fruit and vegetables taste pretty good.
And to follow the Guiding Principle on exercise, I go for my walk first thing in the morning. As it is now a habit, this is what gets me out of bed in the morning.
Research shows, people who exercise in the morning, are more likely to keep it up. If you plan to exercise at lunch or after work, it is often too late or you are too hungry, for it to become a habit.
Getting out of bed 30 minutes earlier, is an easier habit to get into.
I will mention the more people in your life who use the Guiding Principles, the happier and easier your life will be.
So maybe, share this book with all the people you know.
And please remember, if you ever try to coach someone on the Guiding Principles, instead of just telling them what to do, try and explain it to them from their perspective, so they can see how it will help them. Sharing your own experiences can be a very helpful way to do this.
And for the record, in most cases, yelling will not help them understand.
My last “Personal Experience” from using the Guiding Principles with close friends and family is – after a year or two – they will start using the Guiding Principles with you – even if they have never heard of the Guiding Principles or read How to be Happy on Planet Earth.
I would like the world to be a happier place, and I hope you do too.
If everyone used the Guiding Principles, Planet Earth really would be a happier place.
That is what I want, and I hope you do as well.
But please remember, if you are the only person who uses the Guiding Principles, the world will have a least one happier person.
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The Guiding Principles
If You See Everything as Black and White – Try Using Some Grey Matter
Be Kind and Helpful to Everyone – Just Because You Can
Never Assume What Another Person is Thinking
If You are Unhappy with a Situation – Change the Situation or Change Your Attitude
Praise and Criticise the Behaviour – not the Person
Forgive but do not Forget
Never be Spiteful
Always tell the Truth
Communication is a Two-Way Flow of Information
Eat Six Cupsful of Fruit and Vegetables – Five to Seven Days a Week
Have a 30-Minute Walk, Every Day